– It isn’t weird when someone cheers for you when you go potty.

– You start to judge cartoon characters (seriously Wonder Red from Super Why…major issues).

I'm hauling ass towards therapy

– Your toddler learned to share YAY! Unfortunately, it turns out that animal cracker has been sneezed on or previously licked D’OH!

– You’ve come up with explanations for natural occurrences that put Mr. Wizard to shame “honey it is ok, thunder isn’t scary, it is just the clouds tooting, like Daddy after he’s had beans”.

– When your daughter whacks you in the butt and decrees, “your butt is squishy mommy”, you don’t get upset, but you do make a mental list of embarrassing photos to take so you can get your revenge when she starts to date.

-You start to dread the word “surprise” since it is usually followed by either a naked streaking toddler (extra bonus points for being in a public place) or a fun game of “guess where I peed”.

-When your daughter starts yelling “I HAVE BLUE BALLS” in Target (to be fair, she was in fact holding a ball), you try not to laugh.


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