That I would cheer for someone when they used the potty and that they would return the favor when they insisted on being present every – single – time –  I used the bathroom.

That I would have entire conversations perched on the tub with someone while they pooped (and not have had alcohol been involved)

That I would have to ask someone not to stick ping pong balls in my bra.

That I would have teeth marks on my knee caps.

That I could now freely whip a nipple out and not go to jail for indecent exposure.

That pants would become optional attire.

That I would know the names, backstories, and theme songs for animation that existed post 1990s.

That streaking would be back en vouge.

That wood blocks hurt worse then Legos or Bristle blocks when  you step on them at 3am.

That things can grow very quickly in a sippy cup and that there will always be one hidden even when you look for them.

That life could be so damn funny.

That hearing “I love you Mommy so much” would be the best sound in the world



Leave a reply